Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
