census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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