Texts From Last Night

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  (480): View more from Arizona

  I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.

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  (480): I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is. http://tfl.nu/0bg6
  Replies (13) Good night (2316) Bad night (707)
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  (805): View more from California

  Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...

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  (805): Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head... http://tfl.nu/1do3
  Replies (36) Good night (1285) Bad night (3559)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.

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  (785): Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both. http://tfl.nu/00se
  Replies (11) Good night (1036) Bad night (3818)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.

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  (201): oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay. http://tfl.nu/lkny
  Replies (24) Good night (2210) Bad night (3485)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.

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  (480): Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea. http://tfl.nu/itom
  Replies (2) Good night (2741) Bad night (1051)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.

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  (503): Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out. http://tfl.nu/zwrd
  Replies (9) Good night (3692) Bad night (814)
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here

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  (319): Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here http://tfl.nu/2efd
  Replies (3) Good night (455) Bad night (1009)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.

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  (801): I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow. http://tfl.nu/o553
  Replies (8) Good night (1099) Bad night (683)
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  (831): View more from California

  think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.

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  (831): think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout. http://tfl.nu/imuz
  Replies (1) Good night (555) Bad night (318)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?

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  (516): you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call? http://tfl.nu/y8f9
  Replies (5) Good night (249) Bad night (633)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.

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  (954): He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants. http://tfl.nu/tg9t
  Replies (3) Good night (1115) Bad night (240)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.

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  (518): Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus. http://tfl.nu/2yyd
  Replies (1) Good night (738) Bad night (248)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does

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  (412): Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does http://tfl.nu/1hcm
  Replies (5) Good night (640) Bad night (270)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.

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  (412): his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on. http://tfl.nu/3l4h
  Replies (3) Good night (457) Bad night (747)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.

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  (715): My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick. http://tfl.nu/97n3
  Replies (5) Good night (1020) Bad night (311)

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