Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(248): View more from Michigan

I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.

Fav 1 1360 786
share tweet
(505): View more from New Mexico

I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.

Fav 11 3195 883
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(586): View more from Michigan

i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning

Fav 33 3378 1042
share tweet
(706): View more from Georgia

Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.

(706): View more from Georgia

Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...

Fav 34 4414 981
share tweet
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
Read it at the TFLN blog
(757): View more from Virginia

im trying to make cookies in the george foreman

Fav 18 5051 1230
share tweet
(443): View more from Maryland

If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.

Fav 8 981 2318
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(916): View more from California

You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.

Fav 6 2405 834
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(630): View more from Illinois

My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?

Fav 1 475 341
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(914): View more from New York

The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella

Fav 4 45 8
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT