I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.