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the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
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