i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
We don't watch enough power rangers
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.