yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize