Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.