My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
31 People Admit To Nasty Things They Do On The Reg
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.