official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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