Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
