if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
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Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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