my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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