watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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