i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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