Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
