Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?