Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
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