I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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