About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
