I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
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there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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