I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
