the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
