Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
