i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
if only i could text you this smell
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
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