How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
