I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
