So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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