Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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