we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
