Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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