she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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