I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
