There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
