10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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