You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
