C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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