he shaved USA in his pubs
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Drake has all the answers
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
