david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
