Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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