Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
