how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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