This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
whose parrot is this?
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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