i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
