I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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