The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
