I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
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He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
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You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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