You work out of a Hotel?
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
