this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
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