she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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