Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
