I'm sorry my penis didn't work
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
