when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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