Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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