From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
