When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
