Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Randomize
