Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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