weddingsv make me drug and hornr
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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