Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Randomize
