it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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