I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
well I can't set my house on fire every night
I want you more than these girls want KFC
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Randomize