Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I think a kid would responsible me up
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
